New Product: Database Administrator's Oath

By Terri

Demonstrate your all-encompassing database mastery with this oath on your cubicle wall.

database-administrators-oath.png

How it Came to Be:

Ariela is all about logical next steps. We've done a Coder's Oath and a Sysadmin's Oath, so next up was a Database Administrator's Oath. We are getting further outside Ariela's zone of familiarity with this content. While she uses databases, she has not ever been and never hopes to be a DBA. So she consulted friends who are DBAs to compose the oath text.

The border art is a pretty version of one of the standard ways of visualizing a relational database or relationships in a data set. Ariela went with circles only for visual unity, worrying that if she tried to introduce squares and triangles and whatnot it would be overwhelming. More variables means more complicated, and this isn't supposed to be a representation of real data, just evocative of relational databases in general.* 

The circles are all primary colors, two shades of each, and are supposed to represent different kinds of data. The lines are all tertiary colors rather than secondary and are meant to represent different kinds of relationships. A line between a yellow circle and a blue circle will be in the green family, but it could be yellow-green or blue-green, depending on the relationship between the two data points. Ariela felt this was a more elegant solution than arrows, because relationships do go two ways, even if one datapoint is a daughter of another.

 

*It is likely possible to backwards-engineer a data set that will fit the relationships portrayed here.

Ariela is Off to WisCon (with Art!)

by Ariela

I matted ALL THE THINGS!

I matted ALL THE THINGS!

I will be at WisCon40 this weekend in Madison, WI! I'm very excited to meet a lot of cool people whom thus far I only know from teh interwebs. There may be some fangirling, too. If you're there, please say hello.

My panel schedule is thus:

Saturday, 10:00-11:15 AM - Creating Your Own Religion
Which SF authors create interesting, believable religions, and which get religion wrong? (What does it mean to "get religion wrong" anyway?) Do made-up religions with intervening gods work better than those without? How can we as writers avoid making mistakes when creating and writing about fictional religions?

Sunday, 4:00-5:15 PM - SFF Where Religion Works
What SFF books depict well the things a religion does in and for society? Examples include Bujold's Chalion, which has actual supernatural miracles and active godly intervention but ALSO priests and faith workers engaging in the world in all the ways religious have done throughout Earth's history. Independent of doctrines on-screen, what authors "get" how religions change a world?

Monday, 10:00-11:15 AM - The Tough Tribute to Fantasyland
Diana Wynne Jones’ Tough Guide to Fantasyland is a fun look at some of the tropes (and clichés) that show up in fantasy stories over and over. The moderator will have a list of some of these tropes and throw them out for panelists to discuss their favorite (or least favorite) examples in fantasy literature over the years.

I will also be showing in the art show, along with a whole bunch of awesome artists. All of our greeting cards will be available, as well as almost all of our art prints, with some con-only specials, too! (No ketubot, because they're enormous, hard to haul around, and I can't guarantee I would be able to fill one in at the Con; but if you're interested, come find me and talk to me!)

Wiscon runs through next Monday, so next week's blog post will go up on Tuesday instead with a post-con report.

New Greeting Card: Bereavement Card

by Terri

Spoon Dragon comforting its kitsune friend in a time of hardship is here to say the words you can't always come up with.

How It Came To Be:

Many of our cards have genderless chibi figures, so at first the card was going to feature two of them hugging from behind. But Ariela had been toying with the idea of making some of our cards feature other recurring characters, so she decided to use the spoon clutching dragon (herein after referred to as Spoon Dragon) from the Take Care of Yourself card.

Ariela briefly considered drawing Spoon Dragon by itself, crying, before remembering that the point of a bereavement card is to offer comfort, and that image would be really counterproductive. Her sister actually said “Nooooooo! That would be so sad!” So instead, she decided to show the Spoon Dragon comforting a friend. I threw out a few suggestions (including, but not limited to: sea serpent, The Loch Ness Monster and a vampire squash), but Ariela wisely chose a kitsune as the dragon's friend.

The kitsune is a Japanese fox spirit. Kitsune are usually portrayed as having between one and nine tails, with more tails generally corresponding to greater age and power; traditions vary. This kitsune has five tails, one of the more common numbers below nine. Ariela wanted to make it clear this was a magical creature, hence more than one tail, but that it is not quite as wise or all-knowing as a nine-tailed kitsune*.

The interior text was really difficult to compose. We wanted the card to be able to convey a general feeling of sympathy (especially the kind you feel when someone you care about loses someone they care about), without it sounding like a Hallmark platitude. I often find that in situations like this, many people sound a lot less comforting than they think they do. We both wanted to avoid that, while also having a card text that would appeal to a large group of people. We hope that it accomplishes that.

Like all of our cards, the Sympathy Card is available singly for $4.00 and as a pack of 6 for $20.00.

*Also, some traditions say that nine-tailed kitusne turn gold, and Ariela likes red foxes

Fun With Quill Grips - Rainbow Loom Edition

by Terri

While Ariela had both a Rainbow Loom and the bands to use with it back in Chicago, we decided that it would be best to contrast the knitted prototypes with a Rainbow Loom prototype. So I borrowed one from a family with 9 year olds and grabbed some bands at our favorite local kids store

After testing the quill cozies, we moved on to the Rainbow Loom. For those reading without medium* children, a Rainbow Loom (or its generic equivalent) is a device designed to hook small colored rubber bands together to make various objects. Generally these objects are bracelet-like, but apparently Ariela had found some instructions for making pencil grips on the internet and we went with it. 

Creating a grip over the quill. It's an interesting process.

Creating a grip over the quill. It's an interesting process.

I had assumed that the yarn venture would have been a lark, and the grippiness** of plastic would win out. The fact that yarn can absorb ink and plastic can't seemed to be another point in its favor. However, Ariela feels that the plastic one would end up getting very sweaty. And since she's the ultimate user of the product, her comfort is one of the most important factors. 

Testing... Testing... Good concept, but not right for the end user.

Testing... Testing... Good concept, but not right for the end user.

Next up will be seeing the revisions to the knitted prototype!

 

*7-10 years old is the target demographic. That age no longer qualifies as small, in my opinion.

**Technical term

Fun with Quill Grips - Yarn Edition

by Terri

Facebook can get both Ariela and me into a lot of trouble. To wit:

Ariela Housman:

Dear Chicago Facefriends with children. Would any of your kids be willing to let me use their Rainbow Loom for a 20 minute project? I will supply my own bands and happily let them have the extras in exchange.

(My quill is narrower than an average pencil and therefore kinda uncomfortable to hold for long periods. And also therefore too narrow for a store-bought pencil grip to be of any use. The interwebs informs me it is easy peasy to make a pencil grip with a Rainbow Loom. Hence asking.‪ #‎CalligrapherProblems‬)

Jen Taylor Friedman: Wow. I've always just sort of wadded up masking tape. Rainbow Loom is a MUCH better idea.
Ariela: The other suggestion the Interwebs furnished was foam roller curlers. Downside being that the foam squooshes lots. But I do have those on hand. I tried it. Works okay, but I am still interested in trying the rainbow loom trick with gel bands. I could color code my quills by size that way!
Ariela: Behold the silliness.
Quill shoved through the middle of a green foam hair curler
Jen: Heh. Yes that is Quite Silly.
Jen: You should get Terri Ash to knit you something.
Ariela: I'm not making Terri knit me a Quill Cozy.
Terri Ash: Quill cozies.... Hrm. I suppose the simplest method would be to knit a rectangle and seam it into a tube. Should it be ribbed for grippiness?
Ariela: Also, the elastic will help it both fit and grip better. And I want Terri to continue to like me, so asking her to knit with elastic is probably right out.
Jen: I think the problem is that the quill is so narrow that if you used yarn that was thick enough to make a good finger grip, you'd have like 3 stitches, and it wouldn't make a very good seam.
Ariela: Yah, that. Laceweight won't increase the diameter enough, and that's what you'd have to use.
Terri: You could do it width wise with 4 rows in DK or worsted, leaving the cast on edge live and graft the top to the bottom.
Jen: This is why it'd be a Terri-worthy challenge :)
Terri: Now I feel like I need to do this, just to prove it's doable
Jen: Terri blame me not Ariela
Ariela: Things you never thought would be part of your job description.
Terri:

Jen - I'm totally blaming you.

Ariela - I think it falls under the subset of artist-wrangling.

Ariela: One of these days we really will have to write out a list of responsibilities entailed in Artist Wrangling, if only for the entertainment value.
Terri: Mostly it involves a lot of "Ariela, NO"
Liz Shayne: Wouldn't the alternative be just knit an icord?
Terri: You could do that. I may have to try out a couple of options. After being told that it's about creating bulk though, I feel garter is what's called for, and that makes icord tricky.

At first I thought that it might be best to try making a small rectangle and seam it into a tube. But after Liz suggested I use i-cord, the wheels started turning. Ariela told me that it needed bulk, and garter stitch is the best way to get that. Garter stitch in the round is tricky, all the more so when you're making a teeny-tiny tube. But I hunted up some scrap yarn and the correct size needles and made a couple of samples. 

Leftover sock yarn held double

Leftover sock yarn held double

Random yarn sample (I *think* it's DK weight)

Random yarn sample (I *think* it's DK weight)

I started with the sample on the left, which is a self striping sock yarn held double knit on US size 7 needles. Even while knitting, I felt this one was very squooshy.* After testing, my assumptions were confirmed - it wasn't going to work. 

Testing,,, Testing... too squooshy

Testing,,, Testing... too squooshy

The second sample was some stiffer wool that I had lying around. I knit that one on US size 6 needles. According to Ariela, this one is actually usable**, but she has some requests for the next prototype. It needs to be one stitch narrower, and probably knit on yet smaller needles. I'm planning on doing another sample out of the blue wool with the proposed modifications, but we're well on the way to a standard pattern for a useable item. This is really cool, because it didn't exist a week ago and now it does.

Testing... Testing... Needs work, but much better.

Testing... Testing... Needs work, but much better.

 

Check back next week for the results of the Rainbow Loom experiments!

 

*Technical term

**You can tell this in the sample image - it has its ends woven in and everything

New Product: Salute Ketubah

By Ariela

Are you and your spouse-to-be looking for a highly logical choice for your ketubah? Do you fancy yourselves commanding presences in yellow? Are you science types in blue? Perhaps engineers in red? (We rather assume you're not redshirts.) Look no further!

Available in four texts and three colors.

Available in four texts and three colors.

How it came to be

The first seeds of an idea for this design were planted way back in the summer of 2010. A coworker told me that she had a friend who was looking for someone to make "a zombie or Star Trek ketubah." I thought a zombie ketubah was a bit beyond my ability to get my head around (though it became a series of greeting cards!), but a Star Trek ketubah was totally something I could do. Unfortunately, the project never happened. The parents of the couple decided they wanted to make the ketubah their gift, and they were not at all down with a Star Trek ketubah. "That's ridiculous," I thought to myself, "they just don't realize that Star Trek could be classy."

But with no client and a number of other active commissions taking up my time, the idea got shelved until 2013, when some fannish friends announced they were getting married and wanted a similarly themed ketubah. I was starting to think about doing prints by that point, not just one-off commissions, and decided that with two requests under my belt, this might be a good place to start. But I didn't want to deal with licensing. What to do?

Fortunately for me, Leonard Nimoy was Jewish. He didn't so much invent the Vulcan Salute as lift it straight from Jewish tradition in the form of the way the priests hold their hands while blessing the congregation. It was the perfect copyright-free stealth-geek statement - those who are fannish would recognize it immediately, and everyone else would assume it had to do with the Priestly Blessing.

The execution of this design, however, turned out to be more complicated than average. The way most ketubah prints come about is like this: I make the art and then I write all four texts out, each on separate pieces of paper, to fit the space left in the art. I get them all scanned, and then I composite them in post-production, switching between texts as needed for printing. But there is no art aside from the text here. Moreover, I wanted to make it available in all the iconic colors of the Starfleet uniforms. So instead of writing four different texts, it's actually more like twelve. Suffice to say that it took a looong time to get them all finished in between other art. But here they are!

The other challenge of this design is the personalization. When you write a generic text, you leave space for the clients' names, wedding date, etc. But with a calligram (which is what you call a picture made out of text), if you leave giant gaps in it the effect is dulled. A lot. So thus began my search in Star Trek canon for appropriate couples.

First and easiest was Worf and Dax. Their wedding date is in the canon, Worf's parentage is totally known, and Jadzia's father is named in Memory Beta. I had a lot of fun figuring out the Hebrew date of their wedding. A lot of people think they got married on April 1, 2374, because that's the Stardate listed in the captain's log in the opening voiceover, but the content of the episode makes it clear the actual wedding is a week later. That actually puts it in the week after Passover in 6134. Their information is the demo text in the Traditional Aramaic ketubah.

Troi and Riker's wedding took place in a movie, so the Stardate of their wedding is totally borked, but other than that, we have a lot of information on their wedding, including location, and the parentage of both parties. They are the demo text for the Lieberman Clause.

For the Gender Neutral Lover's Covenant I had to look into the licensed novels. Star Trek isn't great about QuILTBAG representation, so I looked through Memory Beta and pulled Etana Kol and Krissten Richter. They're married sometime between 2377 (Fearful Symmetry) and 2383 (Plagues of Night), and I extrapolated from that that they got married aboard Deep Space 9. The date was a pretty much arbitrary pick on my part.

The real trick was the demo text for the Secular English text. I wanted to choose a pairing that would emphasize the fact that this text is completely gender-free and doesn't promise exclusivity. So I settled on a totally fabricated wedding between Jean-Luc Picard and Jack Crusher during Jack and Beverly's marriage. This was largely inspired by a joke my own spouse made. We attended a wedding where all the tables were named, instead of numbered, after famous couples. We were sitting at "Picard and Crusher," whereupon he quipped "Jack or Beverly?" It also nicely parallels Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen, but I won't say any more about that here because spoilers.

The Salute ketubah of your very own, with your wedding information on it, for $210

Doodle: Your Friendly Officer Sea Lion

by Ariela

Have you ever found yourself in the unfortunate situation where you related an experience of oppression and no one asked you to corroborate your position with carefully vetted studies?

Have you perhaps expressed genuine anger while discussing repeated infringements on your boundaries and basic humanity, but none of your friends would step up to the plate and tell you to check that unbecoming behavior lest you wreck your argument?

Do you ever find yourself wishing that someone would pick up that slack?

Never fear! Everyone's favorite member of the friendly neighborhood Tone Police is here: Officer Sea Lion!

Tone-Police-Officer-Sea-Lion-GeekCalligraphy.png

The Tone Police are one of the great peacekeeping* bodies of debates everywhere, and recent recruit Sea Lion is already distinguishing themself in the line of duty.

Tone Police Officer Sea Lion is a tireless interrogator, ready to ask the same question many times to catch their unwilling interlocuter in a misstep. And of course Officer Sea Lion will never hesitate to hold you to their standard of civil discourse.

*Where "peacekeeping" is defined as maintaining the status quo.

What ever would we do without the Tone Police and Officer Sea Lion? The world will probably never know.

</sarcasm>

Officer Sea Lion was inspired by watching K. Tempest Bradford deal with pushback on Twitter about her Cultural Appropriation Primer.

Officer Sea Lion is under the Creative Commons license, so please feel free to Share and Enjoy with attribution.

New Greeting Card: Yarn Fanatic Greeting Card

by Ariela

Let the yarn devotee in your life know that you support their habit. Send them our new greeting card encouraging them to collect more yarn.

Protip: You could even accompany it with a gift of yarn for extra brownie points.

How it Came to Be

As Terri mentioned, my brain sometimes makes odd sideways leaps that result in art projects. This inspiration did not strike in the course of a conveniently recorded IM conversation, so I can't quite recreate the path I took to get to this. Since it involves yarn, I feel quite comfortable positing that Terri was the inspiration/instigator.

I was bound and determined to keep the two figures on the card gender-neutral. As we stated in the Fiber Artist's Oath, anyone can be a fiber arts devotee.

Like all of our greeting cards, the Yarn Addict card is available singly for $4.00 and as a pack of 6 for $20.00.

What’s the difference between a calligrapher and a scribe?

It’s true that in general English usage, there’s not much to choose between the words ‘calligrapher’ and ‘scribe.’ As with so many synonyms in English, the two derive from different languages of origin – Greek and Latin respectively, here – and they mean pretty much the same thing. When Jews say ‘scribe,’ though, we tend to mean one very specific thing: someone who knows the Jewish law pertaining to the writing of certain sacred texts and has the technical skill to write them. Each of these requirements can take years of study to meet.

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